Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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