Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
