What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
