you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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