He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
