Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
