Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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