and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
