don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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