I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize