Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
