theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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