All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
