grandma shit on top of the toilet
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
