I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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