my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
