theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
