Non-Jews are for practice
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
