i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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