Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize