shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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