Sponge bath it is.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
