a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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