friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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