no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
