Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
