I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize