i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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