Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
