TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
