I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
