I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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