I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
