I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
