What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize