So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize