I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
