I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
