he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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