just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
