Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
where are my eyebrows?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
