I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
