You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
it glows. i had to have it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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