Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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