Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
