Quick, to the slutcave!
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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