you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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