Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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