i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize