this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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