I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
