I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
