I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize