White coat. Heels.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
