The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
