we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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