RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
