you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
