Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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