Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
