Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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